Friday, May 1, 2009

bah!

i've moved. this place just doesn't do it for me anymore. sorry. you can find me at http://kittyloaf.tumblr.com/. much easier to navigate and post which is key for someone lazy like me. bye!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

fuck my life

after a series of crappy events today so far i have eaten 3/4 of a jar of nacho cheese (+ chips as a vessel to get said cheese into my mouth) and had two gin and tonics. i've been home for 20 minutes. send help!

Friday, March 6, 2009

Exhibit B


An envelope addressed to the Lovely "Kirsten" sent by a friend (not a close one) who I've known going on 4 years? Cripes.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE

Fuckface next door at work is being moved!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I no longer have to listen horking, sniffling, snorting, sneezing, coughing, throat clearing, blasting radio, clicky girl shoes and loud chip eating EVER AGAIN. Maybe I can even crank the heat a bit more since this guy was apparently menopausal and suffering hot flashes 24/7. I think I'm going to have a party about this.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Exhibit A



two drinks ordered at the same time from the same barrista. wtf?

my name

my name is kristin. K-R-I-S-T-I-N which is pronounced the same way it is spelled: kris-tin. apparently this is a very hard name to understand, say and spell. when i introduce myself to someone i say:

hi my name is kristin.

they say:

hi nice to meet you kristy!

this has been happening my whole life and i have cursed my mother for giving me such an apparently hard to hear and say name. i've stopped correcting people and have just let them call me whatever they want. the most popular is kirsten, then kristy, krista, christine, kirsten (that odd pronunication keer-sten), even CHRISTMAS! yes, please call me christmas! i have often wondered if maybe i have some sort of speech impediment unknown to myself which makes it hard for people in real life or on the phone to understand my name. you'd think someone would have told me that by now though.

another hilarious one is email. my name is clearly spelled out on the screen for the receiver to see and then respell. hell, you could even copy and paste that shit! but no... i get emails that say "Hi Kirsten!" or "Hello Kristy!"... WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE who cannot read a name on the screen! and then go on and spell it incorrectly too!

this is where i got the name of my blog. so please, for the love of god, learn to say my name. and then once you've mastered that, perhaps you can work on the spelling.

love, kristin aka kristy, krista, kirsten, christine, kristine, christina, kirsty, karstan (yep) and karla.

Friday, January 23, 2009

fiber

i am not regretting this $8 bag of cherries one bit. my digestive track, on the other hand, may disagree after having to digest 3/4 of said bag in one go. toot.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

farts

i was standing in line at the local health food hippy store waiting to buy my gay wheat free dairy free egg free shit when one of the resident granola crunching employees came skipping through the line to open another line. as she passed between me and the mother and her 5 year old son an extremely loud very trumpet like fart was heard. my immediate thought was the kid so i prepared a suitable disgusted/annoyed look for my face to present to either him or the mother. the mother turned to me with a huge smile on her face, "was that you?!" and i burst out laughing "NO! was it you?!", "no!". she turns to her son, "was that you?!", he looks at us both, slowly shaking his head wide eyed and horrified that we could be accusing him of such an act. at this point the mother is laughing so hard she is crying and has to step out of the line. meanwhile tofu fart pants cashier is beckoning me to her newly opened line. i go and am loading my products onto the belt with tears streaming down my face and my shoulders heaving with silent laughter. i can't make eye contact! i am losing it! i finally make it out alive and cry the whole way home.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

hacker

i currently hate the douche bag who sits in the office beside me. after being here 6 months i don't even know what his job is besides calling sears everyday about his washer/dryer, booking trips to vegas to see kid rock and coughing, snorting and sniffling all god damn day long. PLEASE DIE.